Ispy’s mother was just 19 when Ispy was born. Young, naive and head strong. A dangerous combination. The young family were isolated in a rural and remote farmhouse shared with the paternal uncle of Ispy’s father. This was 1970, parties and free love were abundant. Legend has it that the young couples drunken friends would abseil from the upstairs windows of the three storey house.
Reasonably uncomplicated and not unhappy the first 10 years or so of Ispy’s life passed by with the love and support of both sets of grandparents. Ispy’s younger brother arrived in 1972, met by an angry and resentful 2 year old Ispy.
“Let’s leave him out with the bins Grandad” she whispered conspirationally to Grandad P on a morning stroll with the old family pram.
What is a mother?
As Ispy tweets, a mother does not need to be a mother, nor possess a womb and may even have a Y chromosome. To mother is to love, nurture, protect, teach, cherish, provide for, and comfort. A mother is the most likely key attachment figure for most children. Most, not all. There is a theory of child development based on being a ‘good enough’ mother. The theory is that perfection is not an option, to develop our children need us to make mistakes. As long as we are ‘good enough’ that is good enough. Can an absent mother be good enough?
Ispy’s mother was young, beautiful and unhappy with her life. So when at 30 she fell in love with a returning prodigal (going through drug detox!) son from a neighbouring village she was intoxicated and swept away in a wave of exotic and risky passion. A year later she left, leaving the 11 year old Ispy with her 9 year old brother and a narcissist father.
Ispy grew up overnight and became a mother to the brother she had once wanted to leave out with the bins. This was when Ispy learned how to be a mother, and she learned hard and she learned fast.
IspyDystopia 